We aired our grievances
And emptied our eyes of tears.
As time passed
We occasionally came across
Keepsakes from a past life,
Their hold on us no longer as strong
Their tattered remains as distant
As a somewhat familiar song on an untuned radio.
We made a project of “moving on”,
Taking out boxes of souvenirs
Little trinkets, old letters.
Forcing ourselves to read, to touch, to remember.
Say a word ten times,
It loses all meaning.
And so we read, read, read
So that memory lost all meaning.
And “moving on” transitioned from a presence of resentment
To an absence of love.
But is love an entire entity in itself?
Is it simply that which was directed at you,
Which has faded now?
Or is it also that which originated in me,
A relic of the person that I was?
Over and over, I churned the memories,
Each turn bringing to me a different facet;
Some to acknowledge, some to forgive.
All that remains now is unadulterated and pure
Detached from that ruiner, fate.
The fingers still move
Tired dead on the keyboard.
I was asked to choose
Between red-stained eyes
And anger-filled heart.
I sacrificed my hands instead
And allowed the blood
To flow from the tips of my fingers
And hoped that the pain would seep out too.
There was nothing to be done.
Nothing, except breaking it.
I took a deep breath;
It felt almost acidic.
Breathing hard, still,
I placed it in front of me.
Gathering all my strength,
I lifted that club.
You know the one;
It’s made of words.
The lethality of it is that
Each word is a weapon in itself.
Taking this club, then,
I moved towards it.
It was beating very fast,
Striving to survive.
Holding the club steadily
I inhaled one last time.
The astringent fumes
Nearly caused me to convulse.
But I squared myself
And brought the club down on it.
It broke into a million pieces
But strangely, contained life.
I looked at it in wonder.
The pieces were still moving.
The club slipped from my hands;
I could not do more.
But the acid had crept to my heart.
And there was really nothing to be done.
And there now lay two injured hearts,
One broken and one burnt.